芳踪难觅（4）（2/2）
《我的大学，用一辈子去忘记》作者：杨柳青 2017-02-10 18:11
on had such a wonderful woman. It would be perfect.
But as I watched her being lowered into the grave, I didn’t have anyone standing with me. I didn’t have anyone to show my mom. I was alone.
That night I cried. I cried because I didn’t have you with me to hold me and tell me everything was alright. I didn’t have a hand to hold or lips to kiss. Nothing. I’d never had that and perhaps never would.
Each morning I looked at myself in the mirror. The wrinkles around my eyes were getting deeper. My hair had thinned and receded. I hoped you would love me. I hoped you could still look at my face and smile.
“I want to see you smile,” the nurse says.
I can’t. Everything in me hurts.
“If you don’t smile for me I’m going to have to turn off the TV and turn out the lights,” the nurse warns. I hate her. She is always trying to make me do silly5 things like smile or laugh. She has never felt pain in her life.
Leave me alone.
“OK, there goes the TV. Good night, sir.” She turns off the lights and shuts the door behind her. My small bedroom disappears into the dark. I can hear her footsteps as she walks down the hall. The footsteps fade6, and then all I can hear is the distant echo of my heart. A tear slowly finds its way to my pillowcase and dies. My world becomes quiet.
I’m alone.
It’s dark and I’m alone.
Why didn’t you ever come, Love?
I waited for you.
I waited for you.
But as I watched her being lowered into the grave, I didn’t have anyone standing with me. I didn’t have anyone to show my mom. I was alone.
That night I cried. I cried because I didn’t have you with me to hold me and tell me everything was alright. I didn’t have a hand to hold or lips to kiss. Nothing. I’d never had that and perhaps never would.
Each morning I looked at myself in the mirror. The wrinkles around my eyes were getting deeper. My hair had thinned and receded. I hoped you would love me. I hoped you could still look at my face and smile.
“I want to see you smile,” the nurse says.
I can’t. Everything in me hurts.
“If you don’t smile for me I’m going to have to turn off the TV and turn out the lights,” the nurse warns. I hate her. She is always trying to make me do silly5 things like smile or laugh. She has never felt pain in her life.
Leave me alone.
“OK, there goes the TV. Good night, sir.” She turns off the lights and shuts the door behind her. My small bedroom disappears into the dark. I can hear her footsteps as she walks down the hall. The footsteps fade6, and then all I can hear is the distant echo of my heart. A tear slowly finds its way to my pillowcase and dies. My world becomes quiet.
I’m alone.
It’s dark and I’m alone.
Why didn’t you ever come, Love?
I waited for you.
I waited for you.